Seven Motherhood Emotions: 3. Envy
“We will be there on another side, catch you, later”, she told with a face that I couldn’t figure out, what’s her emotion was?. It’s a mixture of envy, sad, upset. we were in the event organized by some private institution which was full of kids friendly activities.We went with sh1’s friend and his mom. At first, she was cool and spoke nicely. The first event was something like tossing the ball in the hole. Which ‘sh1’ did all the three times and won some pencil or eraser.
His friend lets’s call him Jake, couldn’t make it. The second event has put the ring on the things and you can have it. sh1 won that but Jake couldn’t. It continued on all the remaining games. Those were very simple and fun games. I told sh1 the fun is being participated, not winning at all. But every time he won and Jake couldn’t his mom felt bad and after some time she didn’t want to be with us. She told she will be on the other side and dragged Jake with her.
“Aren’t you coaching him daily? I couldn’t …And our harish is not going to any special classes like ‘sh1’… And so I don’t mind he is not so good academically like ‘sh1’. I don’t bother about it much. If Harish went to the special classes and if I coach him like you do for sh1 he might have been the bright boy in his class.
I seriously wonder if it did not bother her much why did she speaking about that repeatedly?
Both the events showed me one thing. Mom’s Envy. How to handle it?
Expectation Vs Reality:
Envy is because of the gap between expectation and reality. Every mom wants her kid to be excel in everything. But that is not the case at every time. I am proud that my sh1 is good at so many things. But I am also having concerns about him on other things. He is not good at everything. he doesn’t like to swim like his friend Sam, not making friends easily like Harish etc. But if we allow the envy to creep on us then it will shrink our mind with its dangerous thoughts and so we can’t see the good in our kids.
If I want to envy then I have a thousand reasons to envy about sh1’s friends(Or their moms to have such a wonderful kids???) by comparing him to them. But I knew each child is different. Each one is unique. Jake did not win at games that particular day. But that didn’t make him inferior in any way. Or that didn’t make sh1 superior to him. It’s simply that day was not so good for him that’s it.
So accept your kids as they are. Don’t build a high expectation on them and don’t get upset when they can’t accomplish that. More than anything don’t get envy by comparing them with their peers.
Let’s be happy about the way our kids are.
Linking this post to the “Bar-A-Thon” hosted by Blog-A-Rhythm.
I selected the theme “Seven” and I am writing about “Seven Motherhood Emotions”. To read the previous post click below.
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